I said to chill for the rest of the school year, so we could slide quietly into summer without any more hubbub from the few traditionalist families still attending—and giving—here. And Board members.
Who authorized the Wedding Celebration? And then put the announcement online with that picture? When was the last time we hosted a wedding celebration for a faculty member? Did we have to do this right now, and on campus?
Look, we all know this is genuinely wonderful and the leading edge of the future world of total equity and inclusion that we’re leading our students to.
But, trust me, there are still some parents and donors who may agree with us on personal freedom, but then hypocritically don’t want women who know they’re men or men who know they’re women or people who aren’t sure about either and have tattoos all over them teaching their children about all that.
I know, incredible. Backward. Stupid. But they’re still out there, and we just didn’t need to poke those Mama and Papa Bears right now with that picture, when we’re so close to finishing.
I hate to say it, but we still need their tuition and their gifts so we can keep receiving our great salaries, and also of course so we can keep improving their children for a new world they’ll never understand or accept.
And some of them are now even calling and asking about all the faculty members leaving the school. One called it a stampede. Another asked if they’re abandoning a sinking ship! Idiots. They don’t realize that we have plenty of new, young, better teachers, teed up by our consultants, who can’t wait to join a progressive force like ours.
But I have to be careful. I just can’t say that to everyone. So I waste a lot of time calming down parents and Board members, telling them that everything’s fine, and convincing them to keep their children in our program, which we all know will be best for them.
So, please, chill. Think. Be woke, but don’t wake up these sleeping bears to what we’re actually teaching their children with any more pokes. Your paycheck may depend on it. Thank you.